Fluffy

[Author’s note: Our cat turned 14 yesterday. I don’t think he’s ever had an adventure like this, but, if you’ve ever had a cat, you know they can turn up almost anywhere, doing almost anything.]

The sound of the back door opening woke me from a delightful nap in my favorite sunny spot on the floor. I stretched myself on my scratch pole before sauntering down the hall, with my tail in the air, to investigate.

The Woman and The Girl must be coming home to feed me. Yesterday, they left with suitcases, abandoning me to the care of Neighbor Lady next door, who fed me dinner last night. They probably couldn’t wait to get back and see me.

But it wasn’t them. I stared at two strange men, each carrying two leather satchels. One of them, smelling of hamburgers, was saying, “I still don’t like us comin’ here.”

The other one, fragrant with the scent of tuna fish, replied, “Don’t be stupid. This is a perfect hideout. After us robbin’ that bank, the cops’ll be watchin’ every road out of town. My cousin ain’t gonna be back for a week. We’ll just stick here overnight and beat it tomorrow when the heat dies down.”

Hamburger frowned. “But what if someone spots the van?”

Tuna laughed. “Who cares? It’s around the corner, ain’t it? There’s prob’ly a hundred white vans in town. The cops can’t search ‘em all.”

I tried introducing myself, by rubbing Hamburger’s leg and asking for a snack.

“What the – !” he exclaimed, springing back.

“It’s only a cat,” Tuna said. I didn’t like his attitude.

I tried rubbing Tuna’s leg, but he walked away.

“C’mon,” he said. “We’ll stow the money in the cellar.”

They opened the basement door and clumped downstairs, carrying their satchels. I followed, in case they had any snacks. They stuck the bags under the steps and stomped back upstairs again.

I smelled the bags: not food. More like paper. They were shut tight, which was frustrating. They might have left the bags open for me to inspect. I complained loudly, but they didn’t listen.

Back upstairs, I walked around the kitchen. If these two weren’t going to feed me, then who would? Suddenly, I remembered Neighbor Lady. She should be here any time now. I bounded up onto the windowsill to watch for her.

She soon walked over from her house. I jumped down and waited by the door. Wouldn’t she be surprised to meet these two?

Hamburger said, “What’s that cat doing now?”

Tuna moved a window curtain to peek outside. “Holy cow! Somebody’s comin’ to the door. Hide!”

Both men scrambled up to the second floor. They were probably too shy to meet Neighbor Lady. I feel the same way about some people.

A key scratched in the lock, and old Neighbor Lady entered. I greeted her politely.

“Yes, Fluffy, I’ll feed you soon,” she said, showing the proper attitude.

I tried telling her about the two men who were too shy to meet her, but she just said, “Yes, yes. Hush now.” Some people are very poor conversationalists.

She opened a can and scooped Fishy Surprise into my dish. “There you go,” she said.

I was too busy eating to thank her.

She was staring at the basement door. “Hmmm. I could have sworn I shut that door.”

I looked up. If she wasn’t interested in the men, she probably wasn’t interested in their satchels, either. I continued eating.

“Did you open that door, Fluffy?” she asked.

“Not me,” I said. “Ask those men. Hey, here’s one now.”

I could see Tuna walking stealthily along the hall, trying to peek into the kitchen.

Neighbor Lady didn’t notice him. She was still frowning at the basement door.

I walked up to Tuna. “Hi,” I said. “Ready to meet Neighbor Lady?”

He waved his hands at me. I watched his fingers intently. Did he want to play? The Girl sometimes twined yarn around her fingers for me to play with. He backed away, and I followed him, just in case.

Back in the kitchen, Neighbor Lady muttered, “Well, I must have imagined it, Fluffy. You certainly couldn’t open it.”

The basement door slammed, which was disappointing. How could I investigate those bags now?

Tuna had fled upstairs, so I returned to the kitchen. Neighbor Lady was running fresh water into my bowl. “There you go, Fluffy. Have a good night. See you tomorrow.”

I said goodbye and she left, locking the door. Tuna and Hamburger snuck carefully downstairs.

“That was close,” said Hamburger.

“Yeah. I didn’t count on no old lady comin’ over.”

“Let’s keep outta sight until we leave.”

“Good idea,” said Tuna.

They returned upstairs while I had a drink of water. When I followed them afterwards, one bedroom door was locked. I tried calling them, but they told me to go away. Fine houseguests!

I went downstairs to sleep on that comfy couch. Soon I was dozing, dreaming of mice.

*****

Next morning, the men woke me again, getting ready to leave. They brought the leather satchels up and headed for the back door. I was still curious about those bags, so I followed.

They weren’t very quick closing the door, and I slipped outside. They walked along the sidewalk, with me following easily. They opened the back of a white van and put the satchels inside.

When Tuna turned to shut the van’s door, I leapt inside near the bags. He slammed the door, then both men got into the front seat, and we started moving.

Again, I examined the satchels: still tightly closed. I tried gnawing at one of the straps, but it was no use.

Hamburger said, “You see that cop car?”

“They ain’t lookin’ for us now,” said Tuna. “Just drive past.”

They were watching something that I couldn’t see. Wanting to take a look myself, I jumped onto Hamburger’s seat and stepped onto his shoulder.

He screamed and jerked the round thing he was holding. We started moving sideways, straight toward a tree. I jumped off just as we hit it. Both men flew from their seats and cracked into the windows.

The satchels hit the door, and one burst open. Small, greenish papers flew into the air, just as a policeman stuck his head in the window and ordered, “All right. Step out of the vehicle.”

I began chasing the fluttering papers happily. I knew that this visit would be fun!